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Dr. Leda's Rose Journal Archive |
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Eight Tips To Making Room
for Even More Roses
By Dr. Leda Horticulture, O. R.
October 15, 2000
We all know people who claim they don't have room for any more roses. But come on: do we really believe them? Do we like them? Aren't they just a little like those ephemeral waifs who flit through the night announcing to anyone who'll listen that they couldn't possibly make room for a single bite of tiramisu? I mean, please. Do you suppose they have any friends at all?
Serious rose fiends know there are always eight million ways to make room for more roses. Here are just a few of my personal favorites:
Grow Roses in Containers
Try minis in cute little pots, or small climbers, such as the Hybrid Musks, in stately wine barrels. Next thing you know, you'll have a dazzling array of roses growing all over your porches, patios, steps, balconies, decks, and alleys. There are several advantages to containers. You can control the quality of the soil and drainage, and you can raise the plant a few feet from the ground, where the humidity may be significantly lower. Also, the roses are portable, so if you have to move you'll be able to bring your beloved children with you.
(However, try not to get too carried away, a la Amy Tan. Roses are not Yorkies: no matter how much you love them, you shouldn't try to take them everywhere. You will learn from experience which ones make poor luncheon companions. I have a friend who claims her Joseph's Coat embarrassed her no end by making passes at every waitress who walked by, while her Lady Banks draped herself promiscuously across the bar and ran up an enormous tab ordering expensive scotch. Some roses should not be grown in containers, and ought to be left judiciously at home.)
Send Climbers Up Every Vertical Surface
Walls, fences, columns, and railings were put on earth to support climbing roses. So were dead trees, carports, tool sheds, and, possibly, giant satellite dishes (I never see one without thinking, "Oh! Look at that pergola! Perfect for a Mermaid!"). Every garden bench should be shaded by an arch bearing overhead trusses of fragrant roses; every garden gate should be gracefully framed with climbers that seduce visitors with generous clouds of color and perfume. With a little ingenuity, the humblest walkway in the most mundane subdivision can be transformed into Monet's glorious rose walk at Giverny: and that's at least twenty new climbers right there.
Add Roses to the Perennial Beds
Yes, there is room! If your beds are small, look into the minis or maybe some of the 3' by 3' compact shrub roses. The gorgeous little velvety red Raven stars all season in a hot color bed, while the the old favorite Gourmet Popcorn is a work-horse in the white garden. If your beds are larger, it's time for an inspirational visit to Sissinghurst Castle, where Vita Sackville-West (another medically certified rose lunatic) was never at a loss. If your beds are already over-crowded, perhaps your mother-in-law would like some of those Daylilies? It's not that expensive to rent a U-Haul. (If your beds don't exist, see #6 Delete Portions of the Lawn below.)
Replace Hedges and Groundcovers With Roses
If you're still lining your walk with boring, bland Ligustrums, it can only be because you've never had your heart broken in two by the sight of a glorious upright hedge of Sally Holmes in full bloom. Or you haven't yet run your car into the ditch gawking at a row of voluptuous Knockouts that are carrying on in a neighbor's front yard like some kind of perpetual Mardi Gras. If you're trying to hide an unsightly bank with dull, common freeway daisies, it must mean you've never stumbled upon the sheer poetry of a rose-covered hillside that's a blanket of solid color spring through fall. If you've experienced these wonders and are still holding out, you may need help. Perhaps there are hot-lines and support groups in your town for the terminally unimaginative.
Shovel Prune Without Mercy
You were afraid I was going to get to this one, weren't you? Life is simply too short to waste precious time and space on roses you don't adore. You must force yourself to dig up and dispose of any roses that don't cause your heart burst into song. Take a deep breath. Admit your mistakes. Dress in black if it helps: black hat, black gloves, maybe a black ski mask so the other roses won't get hysterical whenever they see you coming. Personally, I like to bring my boom-box along and play Paul Simon's "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover." Grit your teeth, gird your loins, and dig. If the departing rose has any redeeming qualities at all, call your mother-in-law (she may be able to get her hairdresser to take those Daylilies). If it was really an unforgivable dog with too many diseases to qualify for compost, well, that's why there are dumpsters. Believe me, it only gets easier.
Delete Portions of the Lawn
This technique is for the faint-hearted cowards who can't bring themselves to shovel prune. It needs no further explanation.
Infiltrate the Neighbor's Yard
"Good morning, Mrs. Boudreaux! Say, I can't help but notice that large, sunny, disgracefully neglected area behind your garage has accumulated a lot of pernicious and unsightly weeds. How would you feel if it were miraculously transformed into a prize-winning garden of exhibition quality roses? No, no, you wouldn't have to do a thing." If Mrs. Boudreaux is a grinch, or lives in a concrete high-rise, consider obtaining a plot in a community garden.
Get Serious
Now we're down to the nitty-gritty. Here's my plan for this year: I'm going to get rid of the driveway. I figure that will give me an extra 200 square feet, plus it frees up the garage for a Kiftsgate. And the more I think about it, I've been losing interest in the laundry room for quite some time now. Hmm.
Has anyone else come up with creative new ideas for making more room?
If you have a good one, please email it to 
Dr. Leda Horticulture.
