 |
|
 |
|
|||
 |
|||
 |  |  | 
|  |
 |
Dr. Leda's Rose Journal |
 |
|
High Tea Is Served in the Rose Garden
May, 2003
By Dr. Leda Horticulture, O. R.
This month, Dr. Leda is joined by Alice Watering Can, MFK Fish Emulsion, and the Ironite Chef...
Americans have such complicated relationships with food. We are endowed with a bewildering assortment of dietary restrictions, preferences, and obsessions, as any hostess trying to plan a dinner party can attest.
"Let's see, the Johnsons are doing low carb, Fred Schexsnayder is lactose intolerant, Aunt Sophie keeps Kosher plus she's strictly organic. Megan is a vegan, Otis and Claude have fatal nut allergies, and your mother called to say she won't come unless you make that awful gooey rich chocolate-espresso-almond zabaglione she loves so much."
Thank goodness our roses are much easier to please. Roses love to eat, and though they're sometimes reputed to be snobbish gourmands, I've never heard mine whining that the generic 10-10-10 fertilizer is "bland as an airline meal." They'll cheerfully eat the kitchen sink, if it's served attractively.
 |
| "Alfalfa tea, anyone?" |
And yet, we dedicated rose folks are driven to fuss and putter. Maybe we're projecting our own neurotic food issues onto our roses. We certainly seem to have a knack for concocting the most elaborate, intricate, and bizarrely malodorous feeding regimens imaginable.
When it comes to co-dependent gastronomy, the only people who are as passionate, opinionated, and determined to be gross are the dog fanciers. You may have run across one of a gazillion fanatic internet discussions of the popular and controversial "BARF diet." In canine circles, BARF stands for "Bones And Raw Food." In rose circles, it stands for what we and everyone on our block feel like doing as soon as the lid is removed from a bucket of homemade alfalfa tea.
Ah, alfalfa tea! Ambrosia for roses! If you've never been around the stuff, you probably think it sounds quaint and benignly wholesome, like something Helen Nearing would serve with lemon grass scones and raw berry jam. If you have been around it, you probably suffer from traumatic recurrent nightmares involving close contact with week-old cadavers and unwashed gym socks.
 |
| Working overtime to produce copius blossoms, roses today benefit from lots of feeding. |
But in spite of its malignant aroma, alfalfa tea is all the rage among serious rose gardeners, and for a good reason: it works, and it works fast. Alfalfa makes a decent general purpose organic fertilizer since it has an N-P-K ratio of approximately 4-1-2. But its primary benefit derives from a growth hormone called triacontanol, an alcohol ester compound that stimulates growth and increases the efficiency of nutrient uptake. Brewing the alfalfa into a liquid "tea " renders the goodies available to those greedy rose roots, toute suite.
Three minutes of oogling the web reveal at least 10,000 variations on the recipe for alfalfa tea. Typically, the elixir is mixed in a big plastic garbage can with a securely fitting lid. The alfalfa can be in either meal or pellet form, but make sure there's no added salt or sugar. (Rabbit food often has added ingredients, whereas horse feed is usually pure alfalfa.)
Add about 4 cups of alfalfa to every 5 gallons of water, and stir well. Some recipes call for epsom salts, fish emulsion, or chelated iron; others may include eye of newt and toe of frog. What you add should depend on what your soil lacks (and if you're not sure, it's time for a soil test). Let the hell-broth stand in its tightly sealed cauldron for four or five days, until it begins to boil and bubble with fermentation and trouble. Believe me, your nose will tell you when it's ready.
Use about a gallon of the stinky tea on each rose bush, more for large climbers and less for minis, pouring it around the drip line. Then run inside, lock the door, and take a very deep breath. Followed by a very long shower. Repeat monthly.
At this point, you're probably wondering if bigger, better roses are really worth so much agony. You may have begun to toy with the idea of taking up daylilies, or bridge. Well, dear readers, I have a confession: My name is Dr. Leda Horticulture, and I don't feed my roses alfalfa tea. I'm a lazy wimp with a weak stomach. And yet, I have fabulous roses.
 |
| The dog after not having rolled in my wonderfully non-smelly soil. |
What's my secret? I do give them dry alfalfa. About once a month, I mix a bale of the meal in a wheelbarrow with equal parts of compost and cow manure. I spread 3 or 4 coffee cans under each rose, sprinkle a handful commercial organic fertilizer and earthworm castings, splash on a little kelp, and water it in well. The delivery is a bit slower, but the triacontanol is eventually released without smelling like yesterday's roadkill dressed up in last week's laundry. The dog isn't obsessed with rolling in it, the neighbors are still on speaking terms, and the roses are spectacular. What's not to like?
Ok, that's still a rather complicated and time-consuming feeding ritual. Is it really necessary to feed so often, using so many weird ingredients?
I like to use a wide variety of organic amendments, to protect against trace deficiencies and to avoid toxic build-ups in the soil (plus, my dog has a mulch fetish). What and how often you feed will depend on your soil, your climate, how much you water, the types of roses you grow, your mood that day, and the amount of free time you have on your hands.
Roses are described as "heavy feeders," and it's easy to understand why. Modern hybrids have been bred to do an almost inhumane amount of work, repeatedly producing copious, heavy blossoms over a long drawn-out growing season. They live much more labor-intensive lives than their wild once-blooming species ancestors, thus they require frequent hefty meals.
Personally, I suspect that the real reason roses eat so much is because in their universe, fat is beautiful. Besides, they never get cellulite. We'd be "heavy feeders" too, if we could pig out and still parade around the garden all summer wearing nothing but lipgloss and a thong, looking perfect.
At least we can enjoy it vicariously.
Do you have a favorite rose recipe or feeding regimen? Send it to Dr. Leda, and she may include it in her upcoming cookbook, "The Gagging Gourmet."
